Re Birth& Evaluation

Hello, fellow readers
  I had taken a break from writing for about 4 years now. I lost who I was and in that time i tried different versions of myself but was never satisfied until, I separated myself from everything I was trying to be and let myself just be. So I sat in the shower and curled up in a ball and I laid there vulnerable and exposed. It was scary to have unveiled myself and be in my actual skin. So since then, I went to college and which I am currently still am. I am currently Studying International Relations and on the side I am starting to write again but just short stories for now.
  So I am subscribed to SoulPancake on YouTube (I'll include the link below) which is just an amazing collection of people talking about things that we would avoid because it does not affect us directly or so we think and its a great way to humble yourself and realize there is more out there than your bubble. Being a woman in this generation is tough when it comes to body image, your purpose, and what you represent. So SoulPancake has this new segment about women and its just refreshing to get women to talk about subjects we avoid because we are scared to be brutally honest with ourselves.
  Towards the end this BRILLIANT AMAZING poet, Natalie Patterson reads a poem she wrote about realizing you are beautiful and at the end she says to tell yourself out loud "I AM BEAUTIFUL" and at this point I'm washing dishes and my laptops on the counter and I'm crying without realizing it and I sit down and I try to say "I AM BEAUTIFUL" and I froze...
It was as if there was a wall stopping the words from coming up because deep down I did not believe I am beautiful. The sobs just came out I mean deep down ugly cry, I mean UGLY and it gave me the realization that I have not yet accepted myself for something other than perfection. It is really tough to feel beautiful in a city were self-image is YOU. So I wanna come on and tell you, try to say "I AM BEAUTIFUL" and if you can but don't believe it just keep saying it SCREAM IT! But if you are in the same situation as me, I want you to look in the mirror and not look pinpoint your flaws but embrace them because this is you and if you don't love yourself no one will and if someone does not accept you for your flaws then they don't see what true beauty is. This is not only for female but for you men as well. Work with me and say every morning "I accept myself for me because, this is MY beauty"
Good Nite My Loves
Sincerely, M.L.

SoulPancake link:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lz6tYh4esY 

central america beauty.

1.

'...she enters the room all in chaos I look across my shoulder and she leans against the closet door swaying her hips and tilting her head. She brushes her finger tips across her bottom lip caressing it tenderly with genuine comfort, with fire glaring in her eyes igniting a spark in my sex. She pulls her hair back tight in her hand bunches it with anger but squeezes her knees I stand up and face her and take my fingers and smear her red lipstick across her cheek while I reach behind her and grab her bare ass until she yells out in pain...'

-M.L

Boundaries

Out of boundaries… familiar to many and a daily experience to some. So how do we change that negative feeling from our souls? By taking off that bandage and letting some dirt grime that wound. Free fallin’ won’t hurt by letting those straps and those strings get cut from your life and take it as an adventure every moment of life. Does things that tie you down should be the first to be let go. So once you’ve reached that Nirvana, what do you do from there? Where do you continue? Who knows, but that is why we have that circle of life to re live and let us see it from different perspectives so that from there you find your own path your own journey. So if listening to the Ramones or Biggie or even that confused woman that tabloids swear is a man cheer. You get up blast it no matter what the neighbors, cause who knows you might meddle their lives into a positive situation…that not likely but who cares. If it’s the one thing that flows you from destinations and lets you find that place that where you are most comfortable what are limits just a word but can be broken by actions.